I was startled to see I/we :) had only posted 5 times in February and so I did some thinking. Here's a peek (with a dose of reality honesty) into my/our life these days.
- I will say I have been in a bit of a funk. A rut, if you will. Maybe even the winter blues. It's that drag my rear around, little to none energy, why can't the nights take longer, I know we're not to complain but we've had a lot of rain, kind of doldrums.
- Dr. David Murray wrote something that resonated deep on his blog about the toll our instant comunication, information lifestyle takes on our life when we are so much more informed about all the sad and terrible things that happen in the world. I feel it and there have been more than a few blogs (or the people that write them) that have weighed so heavy on my heart these last few months and more recently too. My friend Greta and her husband Gary have a sweet son in the children's hospital from this area and they have watched at his bedside for 2 weeks now as he fights for his very life. A complete stranger is chronicling her premature daughter's story as she also fights to live. Another lady, who follows our story here, advocates for those children who have been brought up in and failed by the foster care system. She also tells her story of "been there, done that" and it's not easy reading. Truthfully, some of you who follow our blog may even be offended by the language and content (sorry, Sunday, but I thought it best to give warning) but I do not think you can read the stories there without leaving with a heavy and aching heart and maybe even the desire to reach out, show love and make a difference for someone. And from Sunday's blog there are many blogs which tell of such evil things that go on in this sin sick world and I become much more aware and much more heart heavy and I wonder how best to make a difference.
- And the dear ladies in my Bible study group rightly encouraged me to start with prayer. But I feel like a failure until I am reminded that even while doing dishes or folding laundry I can take my heavy heart with all it's thoughts and aching for the deathly sick and the abused and turn those thoughts upward as prayer before a holy and loving God.
- It's hard for me to write then, when so much seems like fluff, when our life here is so easy, so trial free, so loving in comparison. I don't want to take it for granted. I don't want to live ignorantly with my head in the sand ignoring the oceans of pain outside our four walls.
- Yet, there are still things that do bring the smiles, that lift the heart. So, I also share those moments from the last couple of days and by doing so I want to say with all my heart that we as a family are so blessed. God is good - always.
The last couple days have been stunningly beautiful. Which means, blue skies and no rain. :) And it did my weary heart much good.
It immediately beckoned the kids outside.
Ever read the story about the Bearnstien Bears playing baseball? They loved sports; basketball in the summer, football in the fall, hockey in the winter but their favorite, "baseball in the spring." I could watch the boy for an hour (while standing in the sun :) )
And it's always fun to try out the standard and not so standard moves on the bar.
And all the toys that were tucked away and forgotten for the past 2 months are hauled out and the sandbox is a busy place. (for now I'm still thankful enough for the sun that I'm taking all the sand inside in stride;) )
Then there's this little monkey who is our youngest by FAR to be toilet trained. I think it was a combination of her desire and will to be big like her cousin Chelsie and my desire to pay for only one kid's diapers. This is how she picks her underwear in the morning. One hand hanging on for
dear life, one hand flipping through the choices. It amazes me that the underwear we bought for Leah to wear to pre-school are almost too small for her. Two completely different kids. (a good thing) I am perfectly aware that I could make the underwear drawer the bottom one so she could reach it more easily but she impishly gets a kick out of this and I enjoy the impishness of it myself. ps. don't even ask about Cody, it doesn't take rocket science to figure out he's not ready and I'm perfectly okay with that - although I will admit I thought the sibling rivalry between the twins might be a motivator)
And how special is it to have a big sister that can read you stories when Mom and Dad are still a bit busy doing the clean up? Very.
And I think back about what I've all written and my heart squeezes with huge amount of love for these kids of ours and it squeezes some more thinking about those parents who love their children as deeply and long to have them at home, to be together as a family and then that heart of mine, it constricts as I think about all those kids who do not know love, provision, family, belonging, joy. A sigh works its way from my toes. It heaves my chest and again I wonder, what can I do to make a difference.
And my comfort and Comforter?
Psalm 61
To the Chief Musician. On a stringed instrument.[a]A Psalm of David.
1 Hear my cry, O God;
Attend to my prayer.
2 From the end of the earth I will cry to You,
When my heart is overwhelmed;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
3 For You have been a shelter for me,
A strong tower from the enemy.
4 I will abide in Your tabernacle forever;
I will trust in the shelter of Your wings. Selah
5 For You, O God, have heard my vows;
You have given me the heritage of those who fear Your name.
6 You will prolong the king’s life,
His years as many generations.
7 He shall abide before God forever.
Oh, prepare mercy and truth, which may preserve him!
8 So I will sing praise to Your name forever,
That I may daily perform my vows
So I got done the inside, stepped back, admired and realized the necessity of doing the outside too. Now, when consulting the weather website, it was recorded that our little town was sitting at about -5 C. Not exactly prime window washing temps. But, I figured the window was getting direct sun and while my hands might get cold, the water wasn't likely to freeze on those sun warmed windows. So out I went. First to set up my ladder, then to get to work.
There you have it, clean windows all done in my trusty pajamas. Recorded by yours truly, Cammers. Someday when that boy says he's gonna take a picture of me he's gonna get a face shot. And then I'll be wishing for the old days when I could post pictures of me that didn't include uncombed hair! 
